Earlier this week, I had a student in my office for behavior issues. He was having a rough start to his day, so I called his Dad to talk with him. In the course of the conversation, Dad reminded him that his first basketball game was on Saturday and warned him that he might not be playing if his behavior continued. After I hung up the phone, I told him, "I really want to see you play basketball. I'll come to your game Saturday. I sure hope you are able to play." His behavior was great the rest of the week.
On Friday, I called his Mom to verify the game time and location. She said he'd been talking about me coming to his game for the last two days. So, this morning, I went to the game. When I got there, his game had not started yet. In fact, he wasn't even there. "Oh, no. He didn't get to play," I thought. Fortunately, games were just running long. As I watched the kids on the court, I began to recognize Northside students among the players. In fact, many of the players were my kids. And, they were quite talented for 6 and 7 year olds.
After the first game, several of the players came into the stands to give me a hug. They were surprised I was there. Honestly, I was surprised how many played Little Dribblers ball. I was able to watch the second game, when the student from my office played. They won 12 to 0.
As I sat in the stands, I was reminded of the fact that kids have so many different sides to them. At school, we only see a few of those. It takes stepping out into their world to see the rest. Kids who struggle in school just to stay focused were running down the court, handling the ball and shooting with ease. They were in their element. Many of the kids I saw playing are also the ones I have seen regularly in my office for behavior issues. They weren't misbehaving on the court. Instead, they were working together as part of a team.
This experience reminded me of a couple of things. First, it is important to get to know our kids. Really get to know them. By connecting with them outside of school, we can better connect with them in school. Second, each of our kids has talents. Sometimes those are not academic. But, if we can identify those talents, maybe we can use them to help these kids do better academically. Finally, kids need to know that adults care about them. By showing up, we let them know that we care.
Going to the ball game took about an hour out of my day. The results will last much, much longer.
Monday, January 14, 2019
Friday, January 4, 2019
Start the year with success
The following is my weekly post to teachers and staff at my campus.
January 2019 marks the 25th year since I started as an educator. A lot has changed since January of 1993. At the same time, much has stayed the same. A big part of that is because we are in the people business. While things change readily, the needs of people, particularly kids, rarely do. As I've been reflecting on how we can meet the needs of Northside kids this year, I've come up with the following short list. I'm sure you can come up with many more.
* Safety - "My job is to keep you safe. Your job is to help me keep you safe." People, young and old, respond positively when they feel safe. In unsafe situations, we tend to revert to our lower brain and go into fight or flight. So how can we help our kids feel safe? Several ways include
- following regular, predictable routines, procedures, and rituals;
- using an assertive voice and language;
- giving two positive choices to help kids feel more in control;
- being clear on expectations and consequences and then following through;
- having a schedule in place and always giving advanced notice of changes
- teaching assertive responses to negative behaviors from others
- giving a fresh start each day, no matter what occurred the day before
* Focus on strengths - As teachers, we are regularly looking at weak areas in our efforts to help kids get better. That is a big part of our job. Unfortunately, that can easily cause us to overlook our kids strengths. When we take the time to focus on strengths, it gives us a better picture of the whole child. It also lets them know that we see them for who they are and gives us points to encourage them. I encourage to you to make a list of your kids strengths and refer to it often as you interact with them every day.
* Hydration - No matter what age we are, the brain needs lots of water to function properly. Be sure your kids have water readily available and are drinking regularly.
* Breathing - Taking in oxygen through breathing is essential for our bodies to function properly, but how many of us really know how to breathe? Deep breathing takes focus and practice. Take time to practice deep breathing with your kids and don't be shy about helping them to take deeper breaths when you notice them starting to get upset or stressed.
* Brain Breaks - The brain needs time to recharge before moving to new learning. When you notice your kids are getting antsy, it is time for a short break. GoNoodle, Brain Gym, stretching, and breathing are all good ways to stop and let the brain recharge before moving to something new.
* Remember, it's not about you! - Our kids bring lots of outside concerns into the building with them. Many are carrying burdens that adults would struggle with. Others have issues with brain chemistry and mental health. Many have not had positive role models to show them social skills. Some kids act out as a means to avoid something they see as negative or unsafe. As educators, we have to recognize that when kids act out, it rarely has anything to do with us personally. We just happen to be the ones who are there when the behavior occurs. We have to train ourselves to take a few deep breaths, remind ourselves that we are safe, and then respond to the behavior, hopefully by helping the child choose a better behavior.
* However, it is about you! - I know this sounds like a contradiction. What I mean is take care of yourself. We are in the care-giving business, but if we don't take care of ourselves, we will be hard pressed to help others. Find a time in your day to do something positive for yourself: Go to the gym, take a walk, take time to reflect on the good that is around you, eat well, spend quality time with the people you love. When you take care of yourself, you are better prepared to take care of others.
These are just a few things to help us get the new year off to a good start. I'm sure you can add others to the list and would love to hear them.
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Power of Habit
This year, instead of New Year's resolutions, I've decided to make some new habits instead. Better yet, I've decided to replace some negative habits with positive ones.
In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explains that you don't break old habits. Instead you replace them with new ones. For example, I used to have the habit of biting my nails. I noticed that I had the urge to bite them just after I'd ran my finger over the edges and found any rough spots. This was my trigger. So, I devised a plan. I purchased a package of emory boards. Every time I found a rough spot, instead of biting, I filed it down. So, now I have replaced the habit of biting my nails with the more positive habit of filing them. It was a worthwhile trade off.
This year, the habits I plan to replace are:
1) Starting the day looking at the phone (I have the habit of reading the news first thing in the morning)
Replacement Habit: Start the day with a time of prayer followed by Bible reading. When I get up, my first step is to go into the living room and pray while kneeling in front of the couch. No one is awake yet, so I have quiet time to myself. This is followed by breakfast and Bible reading.
2) Spending time at work after I've reached my mental limit (I have developed the habit of trying to push a little further and get a little more done. I don't produce quality work and I just get exhausted.)
Replacement Habit: Leave the office no later than 6 pm each day and go to the YMCA to work out. This will renew my mind and help me mentally prepare to go home and spend quality time with family.
3) Watching TV at night (It has become a habit to go home and turn on the TV. This is both non-productive and time wasting)
Replacement Habit: Read at least one chapter in a book and write in my blog each evening. (Please note: I do reserve Friday night for watching Netflix)
4) Looking at my phone while people are talking to me (This habit has gotten me into a lot of trouble with my family and it really is disrespectful to others)
Replacement Habit: When someone is talking to me, turn my phone upside down and leave it there. Devote my full attention to the person at hand.
I'm sure I will come up with more as the year progresses, but this is a good start. What habits do you need to replace and what will you replace them with?
In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explains that you don't break old habits. Instead you replace them with new ones. For example, I used to have the habit of biting my nails. I noticed that I had the urge to bite them just after I'd ran my finger over the edges and found any rough spots. This was my trigger. So, I devised a plan. I purchased a package of emory boards. Every time I found a rough spot, instead of biting, I filed it down. So, now I have replaced the habit of biting my nails with the more positive habit of filing them. It was a worthwhile trade off.
This year, the habits I plan to replace are:
1) Starting the day looking at the phone (I have the habit of reading the news first thing in the morning)
Replacement Habit: Start the day with a time of prayer followed by Bible reading. When I get up, my first step is to go into the living room and pray while kneeling in front of the couch. No one is awake yet, so I have quiet time to myself. This is followed by breakfast and Bible reading.
2) Spending time at work after I've reached my mental limit (I have developed the habit of trying to push a little further and get a little more done. I don't produce quality work and I just get exhausted.)
Replacement Habit: Leave the office no later than 6 pm each day and go to the YMCA to work out. This will renew my mind and help me mentally prepare to go home and spend quality time with family.
3) Watching TV at night (It has become a habit to go home and turn on the TV. This is both non-productive and time wasting)
Replacement Habit: Read at least one chapter in a book and write in my blog each evening. (Please note: I do reserve Friday night for watching Netflix)
4) Looking at my phone while people are talking to me (This habit has gotten me into a lot of trouble with my family and it really is disrespectful to others)
Replacement Habit: When someone is talking to me, turn my phone upside down and leave it there. Devote my full attention to the person at hand.
I'm sure I will come up with more as the year progresses, but this is a good start. What habits do you need to replace and what will you replace them with?
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
A New Commitment
It's a new year. 2019. One of my goals this year is to start back blogging by writing at least 250 words every day and posting at least twice a week. I did this challenge once before and it was beneficial to my focus as an educator. I'm still not sure what pulled me off, but for the last year or more, I've written very little. During that time, I've noticed some changes in my own personal and professional life. Here a few:
1) Lack of focus: I've noticed that I seem to be less focused this year. I attribute much of this to a lack of reflection on my part. This has led to a reduction in my ability to see what may be right in front of me. My goal in writing each day is to help me reflect on my practice and really hone in on areas that need improvement and areas for my own personal growth.
2) Lack of Motivation: There is a power in accomplishing something tangible each day that helps with motivation. However, as an educator, much of what we do doesn't bring immediate results. Learning and behavioral change are both growth processes. They don't take place overnight. We must constantly review our data in order to see this growth occur. So, while we are doing something tangible each day, we can't really see it unless we look at the results over time. Writing, however, is different. The words hit the page immediately and are easily measured. I can count 250 words easily (or better yet, I can let the computer do it for me). There it is, I've done something today and have a reason to go on tomorrow.
3) Lack of Creativity: I've never been an extremely creative person to begin with. Most of my ideas are stolen from others with credit given. Isn't this true for many educators? However, when I write I am creating something original, something unique to me. I am putting out original ideas or at least my own take on the ideas of others. In doing so, I open the doors for this creativity to spill out into other areas of my life.
4) Lack of Reading: I've noticed that since I stopped writing, I've also stopped reading as much. I still read a few books a month, but I find that I don't apply my reading as I once did. Instead, I let it sit and simmer and don't do anything with it. When I write, it helps place what I'm learning in a usable context and gives me motivation to keep reading so I can keep learning. I also don't lose what I'm learning because I can go back and read it again. This year, my goal is to read 40 books. I've already got three almost completed for a very strong start.
As I restart this writing journey, I have to make a couple of commitments to myself.
1) Plan a time each day for writing - Usually, immediately after I have finished my work or right before bed work best for me. Both of these times are quiet and I have time to reflect.
2) Don't go to bed without writing - Simply as that. If I haven't written 250 words, my head doesn't hit the pillow. Strangely enough, I usually sleep better after I've written.
1) Lack of focus: I've noticed that I seem to be less focused this year. I attribute much of this to a lack of reflection on my part. This has led to a reduction in my ability to see what may be right in front of me. My goal in writing each day is to help me reflect on my practice and really hone in on areas that need improvement and areas for my own personal growth.
2) Lack of Motivation: There is a power in accomplishing something tangible each day that helps with motivation. However, as an educator, much of what we do doesn't bring immediate results. Learning and behavioral change are both growth processes. They don't take place overnight. We must constantly review our data in order to see this growth occur. So, while we are doing something tangible each day, we can't really see it unless we look at the results over time. Writing, however, is different. The words hit the page immediately and are easily measured. I can count 250 words easily (or better yet, I can let the computer do it for me). There it is, I've done something today and have a reason to go on tomorrow.
3) Lack of Creativity: I've never been an extremely creative person to begin with. Most of my ideas are stolen from others with credit given. Isn't this true for many educators? However, when I write I am creating something original, something unique to me. I am putting out original ideas or at least my own take on the ideas of others. In doing so, I open the doors for this creativity to spill out into other areas of my life.
4) Lack of Reading: I've noticed that since I stopped writing, I've also stopped reading as much. I still read a few books a month, but I find that I don't apply my reading as I once did. Instead, I let it sit and simmer and don't do anything with it. When I write, it helps place what I'm learning in a usable context and gives me motivation to keep reading so I can keep learning. I also don't lose what I'm learning because I can go back and read it again. This year, my goal is to read 40 books. I've already got three almost completed for a very strong start.
As I restart this writing journey, I have to make a couple of commitments to myself.
1) Plan a time each day for writing - Usually, immediately after I have finished my work or right before bed work best for me. Both of these times are quiet and I have time to reflect.
2) Don't go to bed without writing - Simply as that. If I haven't written 250 words, my head doesn't hit the pillow. Strangely enough, I usually sleep better after I've written.
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