Victim or Victor?

"These kids just can't get it. I could teach if they would just try harder."  "Parents are the problem.  If they would just raise their kids with some manners, my job would be easier."  "If Central Office would stop sending more mandates, I could get something done."

Sound familiar?  These refrains, in various form, are heard in schools everyday.  These and similar phrases along with the thought processes that accompany them are what I've started referring to as victim mentality.  True victims are at the mercy of others, usually not by choice.  A victim mentality, however, is a choice.  I know because I've made it many times in my life and career.

So what is a victim mentality? In simple terms, it is putting yourself in the role of victim by blaming others or circumstances for your current condition.  Victims, in this case, give up control to someone or something else and simply accept circumstances as they are.  It is what Zig Ziglar used to call "stinkin' thinkin.'  It is possible that your current circumstances may be affected or even have been brought on by forces outside of your control.  But, that doesn't mean you have to allow these to control you.

The opposite of victim mentality is victor mentality.  Victors may be in the exact same situation or circumstances as others. They may be facing the same challenges.  The difference is that they take ownership of the problem and look for a solution.  Victors do not give others control over how they respond to circumstances.  They focus on what they can do to change things and then get to work.

Overall, victim mentality is the simpler path because it relieves you of responsibility.  If circumstances are beyond your control, how can you be expected to do anything about it?   Unfortunately, it is also the most dangerous.  This mentality can lull you into believing you can't do anything, so you just don't.  Why try to get better if nothing is going to change?  Why work harder if you can't change anything?

Victors, on the other hand, take responsibility for the situation they are in, even it is not of their own making.  They determine to do what is within their power to do.  They refuse to be defined by their circumstances.

In education as in life, people can choose either of these two mindsets.  The victors are the ones who move classrooms and schools forward day after day, year after year.  They are the ones that defy circumstances and do whatever it takes for kids and schools to succeed.  They do all this while the victims sit back and watch, wondering why these people are working so hard.

So, which will you be:  victim or victor?  The choice is yours.