What's the real need?

How often do we jump to conclusions with children?  I know I do way too much.  It's easy to think, "That student is acting up because they are just trying to get attention."  "Just ignore them.  They always act that way."  But, there is usually an underlying problem.  Maybe they are trying to get attention.  But, maybe not.

Today, I had a child acting out and literally throwing a fit in a corner. It took a while to calm him down, but once we did, we were able to start asking questions.  Did something happen at home or on the bus this morning?  Did you eat breakfast?  Are you angry at someone?  After multiple questions and lots of "Leave me alone's," we finally determined that the child hadn't slept last night.  It was obvious due to red eyes, but that could have been allergies as well.  Once we were sure we had the problem nailed down, I gave the child some choices.  "You can go to class and try to focus or you can come to my office and take a nap."  The child didn't respond, so I left him with an adult and walked down the hall. "Let me know what you decide."  Less than two minutes later, he came up behind me and said "I think I'd like to sleep."  We went and got a mat, a pillow, and something to cover with and set it up in my office.  He got under the covers and in less than a minute was sound asleep.  I worked at my desk with the lights off (I have a large window) and  let my staff know he was there if I happen to leave.  I was in and out for the next two hours, but he never moved.  Finally, someone came and told me he woke up and was back in class.  He had a great rest of his day.

If I had jumped to the conclusions, I could have easily made this problem worse.  I could have given him a consequence that would have been ineffective.  I could have made him stay in class and exacerbated his behavior.  I could have called his parent and had them come up, probably resulting in them taking the child home.  Instead, I decided to find out what the real need was.  In this case, it was sleep.  It could have been hunger, fear, anger, or a multitude of other issues. It is so hard to tell by looking at behavior alone.  Getting to the real need takes time and effort.  You may not find it in one day.  But, when you do, it is imperative to see that the need gets met.  Otherwise, you will rarely see any behavior change, either short or long term.  

So, take the time to find the real need with children  It is worth it.