In process Part 1

Please note:  This was written in early June 2019, but I waited to publish.

Last Friday, I started interviewing for a principal in my current district.  The position I applied for is at a 4-6 campus with about 800 students.  It is also the campus where I started my admin career as an Assistant Principal.  For the past several months, I have had a gut feeling that this will be my last year at my current campus.  I wasn't really sure why, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

Interestingly though, the day after I interviewed for the 4-6 campus, I was also invited to interview for the Principal position at my current school.  The position won't open for another year, but the district wanted to start the process early.  Build a candidate pool, maybe.   During that interview, I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss if I wasn't the Principal here.  At the same time, I think they need someone with more of a background in literacy.  Everything I know I've learned in the last four years.  I've never taught someone to read in my life (except my son.  I did have a hand in his learning using old basal readers). 

Anyhow, this week, I've been waiting for a response to either position.  Today, I got one.  I was asked to come back in and interview again for the 4-6 position.  Talk about stressful.  But it is nice to know that the district and hiring committee from that campus think enough of me to ask me back.  

At this point, "imposter syndrome" is setting in.  I'm thinking of all the reasons why I would not be the best choice for this position.  Strangely, though, everyone who knows I am seeking the position is sure I am not only qualified, but ready.  I have to trust they are right.  

Moving into a new position that I've never held would be a difficult transition.  Still, I know deep down I am capable. I just have to convince myself of that.  I wonder if others who go through this process feel the same way.  Maybe "imposter syndrome" is the best indicator that I'm ready.  I certainly wouldn't have applied if I didn't think I was.  

As soon as I get a response, I will write an update.  It could be turning out to be a very busy summer.  

Targets on their backs

I hate to say it, but we have students all around us with targets on their backs.  "What do you mean, Quarles?"  I mean that we have kids who are seen as the troublemaker.  They are targets of the ire of adults.  Sometime in their lives, they did something wrong.  Probably lots of things. Maybe they are the child who fights or hits.  Perhaps they are the incessant talker or the kid who lets curse words fly.  Maybe they are the one who has to save face, so they argue with adults.  In any case, they are being watched and, at any hint of a slip up, adults are quick to pounce.  You might say these kids can't catch a break.  They simply stand out in the crowd like a walking target.

For a kid with a target on their back,  turning over a new leaf can be an almost impossible task.  They often get blamed even when they didn't do anything wrong.  And, when they do  the right thing, do you notice?  You see, we tend to watch these kids and wait for them to screw up.  Why do we do that?  Why can't we give them a new start every single day like we do with everyone else?  Why do we heap on the punishment and ignore the positives?

Unfortunately, it is human nature to look for problems.  It is what we do.  It literally takes a concerted effort to find the positive.  Plus, in many cases, these kids have done something to personally offend us.  Maybe they talked back or lashed out at us.  In any case, we were hurt and we can't let it slide.  To do so would be to lose face ourselves.  Of course, we don't say that, but inside we know it's true.

Would you join me in a mission to help wipe the targets off, or better yet, never let them get put on in the first place.  How?  First, by building relationships.  It is hard not to like someone you have come to know.  You might get criticized by those looking only at the target, but who cares?  Second, by letting each day be a fresh start.  This can be hard.  Grudges are easy to hold, but hard to release.  Until you do, though, no change will occur.  Third, by teaching kids that there is a better way to do things.  Many kids lack social skills.  You have to teach them.  They tend to react to situations.  You can teach them to respond.  It takes time, but is worth the effort.  Fourth, you can watch for the good they do and acknowledge it.  Not a long, syrupy speech.  A simple, "Hey, I saw the positive thing you did.  I am proud of you," will suffice. Finally, and most importantly, you can listen.  Listen to kids who you want to chew on.  You want to tell them what to do and how wrong they are.  Instead, open your ears and listen to what they are saying.  You might find out there is more going on than you see on the surface. You may find that the tough exterior many of these kids wear is nothing but a facade hiding a scared child.

As adults, we need to do everything we can to help erase the targets so many of our kids wear on their backs.  We need to erase the target so they can have a chance to become the people they were meant to be.  As long as they wear a target, it will never happen.

Lessons from Little Dribblers

Earlier this week, I had a student in my office for behavior issues.  He was having a rough start to his day, so I called his Dad to talk with him.  In the course of the conversation, Dad reminded him that his first basketball game was on Saturday and warned him that he might not be playing if his behavior continued.  After I hung up the phone, I told him, "I really want to see you play basketball.  I'll come to your game Saturday.  I sure hope you are able to play."  His behavior was great the rest of the week.

On Friday, I called his Mom to verify the game time and location.  She said he'd been talking about me coming to his game for the last two days.  So, this morning, I went to the game.  When I got there, his game had not started yet.  In fact, he wasn't even there.  "Oh, no.  He didn't get to play," I thought.  Fortunately, games were just running long.  As I watched the kids on the court, I began to recognize Northside students among the players.  In fact, many of the players were my kids.  And, they were quite talented for 6 and 7 year olds.

After the first game, several of the players came into the stands to give me a hug. They were surprised I was there.  Honestly, I was surprised how many played Little Dribblers ball.  I was able to watch the second game, when the student from my office played.  They won 12 to 0.

As I sat in the stands, I was reminded of the fact that kids have so many different sides to them.  At school, we only see a few of those.  It takes stepping out into their world to see the rest.  Kids who struggle in school just to stay focused were running down the court, handling the ball and shooting with ease.  They were in their element.  Many of the kids I saw playing are also the ones I have seen regularly in my office for behavior issues.  They weren't misbehaving on the court.  Instead, they were working together as part of a team.

This experience reminded me of a couple of things.  First, it is important to get to know our kids.  Really get to know them.  By connecting with them outside of school, we can better connect with them in school.  Second, each of our kids has talents.  Sometimes those are not academic.  But, if we can identify those talents, maybe we can use them to help these kids do better academically.  Finally, kids need to know that adults care about them.  By showing up, we let them know that we care.

Going to the ball game took about an hour out of my day.  The results will last much, much longer.

Start the year with success

The following is my weekly post to teachers and staff at my campus.  


January 2019 marks the 25th year since I started as an educator. A lot has changed since January of 1993. At the same time, much has stayed the same. A big part of that is because we are in the people business. While things change readily, the needs of people, particularly kids, rarely do. As I've been reflecting on how we can meet the needs of Northside kids this year, I've come up with the following short list. I'm sure you can come up with many more.

* Safety - "My job is to keep you safe. Your job is to help me keep you safe." People, young and old, respond positively when they feel safe. In unsafe situations, we tend to revert to our lower brain and go into fight or flight. So how can we help our kids feel safe? Several ways include

- following regular, predictable routines, procedures, and rituals;

- using an assertive voice and language;

- giving two positive choices to help kids feel more in control;

- being clear on expectations and consequences and then following through;

- having a schedule in place and always giving advanced notice of changes

- teaching assertive responses to negative behaviors from others

- giving a fresh start each day, no matter what occurred the day before

* Focus on strengths - As teachers, we are regularly looking at weak areas in our efforts to help kids get better. That is a big part of our job. Unfortunately, that can easily cause us to overlook our kids strengths. When we take the time to focus on strengths, it gives us a better picture of the whole child. It also lets them know that we see them for who they are and gives us points to encourage them. I encourage to you to make a list of your kids strengths and refer to it often as you interact with them every day.

* Hydration - No matter what age we are, the brain needs lots of water to function properly. Be sure your kids have water readily available and are drinking regularly.

* Breathing - Taking in oxygen through breathing is essential for our bodies to function properly, but how many of us really know how to breathe? Deep breathing takes focus and practice. Take time to practice deep breathing with your kids and don't be shy about helping them to take deeper breaths when you notice them starting to get upset or stressed. 

* Brain Breaks - The brain needs time to recharge before moving to new learning. When you notice your kids are getting antsy, it is time for a short break. GoNoodle, Brain Gym, stretching, and breathing are all good ways to stop and let the brain recharge before moving to something new.

* Remember, it's not about you! - Our kids bring lots of outside concerns into the building with them. Many are carrying burdens that adults would struggle with. Others have issues with brain chemistry and mental health. Many have not had positive role models to show them social skills. Some kids act out as a means to avoid something they see as negative or unsafe. As educators, we have to recognize that when kids act out, it rarely has anything to do with us personally. We just happen to be the ones who are there when the behavior occurs. We have to train ourselves to take a few deep breaths, remind ourselves that we are safe, and then respond to the behavior, hopefully by helping the child choose a better behavior.

* However, it is about you! - I know this sounds like a contradiction. What I mean is take care of yourself. We are in the care-giving business, but if we don't take care of ourselves, we will be hard pressed to help others. Find a time in your day to do something positive for yourself: Go to the gym, take a walk, take time to reflect on the good that is around you, eat well, spend quality time with the people you love. When you take care of yourself, you are better prepared to take care of others. 

These are just a few things to help us get the new year off to a good start. I'm sure you can add others to the list and would love to hear them.

Power of Habit

This year, instead of New Year's resolutions, I've decided to make some new habits instead.  Better yet, I've decided to replace some negative habits with positive ones. 

In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg explains that you don't break old habits.  Instead you replace them with new ones.  For example, I used to have the habit of biting my nails.  I noticed that I had the urge to bite them just after I'd ran my finger over the edges and found any rough spots.  This was my trigger.  So, I devised a plan.  I purchased a package of emory boards.  Every time I found a rough spot, instead of biting, I filed it down.  So, now I have replaced the habit of biting my nails with the more positive habit of filing them.  It was a worthwhile trade off.

 This year, the habits I plan to replace are:

1)  Starting the day looking at the phone (I have the habit of reading the news first thing in the morning)
Replacement Habit:  Start the day with a time of prayer followed by Bible reading.  When I get up, my first step is to go into the living room and pray while kneeling in front of the couch.  No one is awake yet, so I have quiet time to myself.  This is followed by breakfast and Bible reading. 

2)  Spending time at work after I've reached my mental limit (I have developed the habit of trying to push a little further and get a little more done.  I don't produce quality work and I just get exhausted.)
Replacement Habit:  Leave the office no later than 6 pm each day and go to the YMCA to work out.  This will renew my mind and help me mentally prepare to go home and spend quality time with family.

3)  Watching TV at night (It has become a habit to go home and turn on the TV.  This is both non-productive and time wasting)
Replacement Habit:  Read at least one chapter in a book and write in my blog each evening.  (Please note:  I do reserve Friday night for watching Netflix)

4)  Looking at my phone while people are talking to me (This habit has gotten me into a lot of trouble with my family and it really is disrespectful to others)
Replacement Habit:  When someone is talking to me, turn my phone upside down and leave it there.  Devote my full attention to the person at hand.

I'm sure I will come up with more as the year progresses, but this is a good start.  What habits do you need to replace and what will you replace them with?

A New Commitment

It's a new year.  2019.  One of my goals this year is to start back blogging by writing at least 250 words every day and posting at least twice a week.  I did this challenge once before and it was beneficial to my focus as an educator.  I'm still not sure what pulled me off, but for the last year  or more, I've written very little.  During that time, I've noticed some changes in my own personal and professional life.  Here a few:

1) Lack of focus:  I've noticed that I seem to be less focused this year.  I attribute much of this to a lack of reflection on my part.  This has led to a reduction in my ability to see what may be right in front of me. My goal in writing each day is to help me reflect on my practice and really hone in on areas that need improvement and areas for my own personal growth.

2)  Lack of Motivation:  There is a power in accomplishing something tangible each day that helps with motivation.  However, as an educator, much of what we do doesn't bring immediate results.  Learning and behavioral change are both growth processes.  They don't take place overnight.  We must constantly review our data in order to see this growth occur.  So, while we are doing something tangible each day, we can't really see it unless we look at the results over time.  Writing, however, is different.  The words hit the page immediately and are easily measured.  I can count 250 words easily (or better yet, I can let the computer do it for me).  There it is, I've done something today and have a reason to go on tomorrow.

3)  Lack of Creativity: I've never been an extremely creative person to begin with.  Most of my ideas are stolen from others with credit given.  Isn't this true for many educators?  However, when I write I am creating something original, something unique to me.  I am putting out original ideas or at least my own take on the ideas of others.  In doing so, I open the doors for this creativity to spill out into other areas of my life.

4)  Lack of Reading:  I've noticed that since I stopped writing, I've also stopped reading as much.  I still read a few books a month, but I find that I don't apply my reading as I once did.  Instead, I let it sit and simmer and don't do anything with it.  When I write, it helps place what I'm learning in a usable context and gives me motivation to keep reading so I can keep learning.  I also don't lose what I'm learning because I can go back and read it again.  This year, my goal is to read 40 books.  I've already got three almost completed for a very strong start.

As I restart this writing journey, I have to make a couple of commitments to myself.

1)  Plan a time each day for writing - Usually, immediately after I have finished my work or right before bed work best for me.  Both of these times are quiet and I have time to reflect.

2)  Don't go to bed without writing - Simply as that.  If I haven't written 250 words, my head doesn't hit the pillow.  Strangely enough, I usually sleep better after I've written.

The last six can be the best six

Six more weeks. This is the time when people are getting tired. You and your kids have experienced intense learning and growth and that takes hard work from everyone.  Behaviors tend to become more erratic as the year comes to an end.  Students (and adults) are getting anxious and ready for a break.  The temptation as the year comes to a close is to think, "I hope I can just make it through."  I've felt this way and I know others have as well.

But, I'd like to make another suggestion.  Instead of just making it through these last six weeks, how about we do the opposite. How about making the last six weeks the best six weeks?

Here are some ideas:

1)  Focus the fun -   As you create your lessons, intentionally ask questions like, "How can I add some more fun to this?" For example, you could turn a lesson into a game.  You could let kids create something related to what they are learning.  You could let them teach something, possibly using an app like FlipGrid.  The possibilities are endless.  

2) Can the count down - When you count down the days to the end of school, you may be doing the exact opposite of what you want. You could be sending the message to kids (and possibly to yourself) that school is something to be endured until summer break instead of an opportunity to learn to the very end.  We could also be creating a sense of anxiety in some of your kids, especially those to whom school is the one stable factor in their lives.  Instead of counting down the days, think of ways to make each day count. 

3) Love em' with letters - Write a note to every student to give them at the end of the year.  Start now.  Remind them of all the positive things they have done and learned.  Tell them what you appreciate most about them.  Reflect on a fun or funny moment you had with them.  In doing this, you are also reminding yourself of how special your kids are.  When we focus on the good things about people, we start seeing more of those good things in people. 

4) Pursue the positive - As the school year wraps up, there tend to be more challenges than usual.  Calendars are full, time is short, behaviors are often less than desirable.  The interesting thing is, you tend to get more of what you focus on.  If you focus on difficulties, you are going to see more difficulties.  However, if you focus on the positive, you will see more positives. Like how much growth your kids have experienced.  How so many have matured since the beginning of the school year.  How you have improved and grown in your profession.  Focusing on the positive helps you keep a positive attitude and that spreads to your kids. 

5) Leverage the learning -  Squeeze as much learning as you can out of the year.  Although routines will be altered due to activities, it is imperative to stay focused on learning.  Indeed, that is why we are all here.  Do everything you can to use these last days to help your kids continue to grow academically.  Stick to your learning routines and keep the expectations high.  It is not always easy, but I've never met an educator who looked back and said, "I wish I hadn't taught my kids as much as I did."  It will be worth it.    

The last six weeks can be the best six weeks.  We just have to choose to make it so.

What would you add to this list?  I'd love to hear more ideas from you.