The connecting power of Twitter

Twitter is a powerful tool. This was brought back to me recently during a call from a colleague in South Carolina.  When I first met this Indian educator three months ago, he was living and teaching in South Africa.  Twitter connected us and gave me the opportunity to be a part of his journey to the United States.  Here is a synopsis:

In mid-June, I received a direct message from this educator that simply said, "Can you do me a favor?"  The red flags went flying.  Still, I looked up his profile and, seeing that he was a teacher, asked what he needed.  His response: "I am applying for a job in South Carolina and need help with interview questions." Whew!!! That sounded simple enough. After e-mailing me the questions, I decided that it would be best to talk about them face to face.  He was going to have his interview via Skype, so we found a time to connect using that service and had a practice interview.  I asked the questions and then we discussed his responses. Afterwards, we talked about what he might find different in the States and I even had my wife get on and talk with him about STEM.  It was an interesting session and I probably learned as much about the South African education system as he did about ours.  

He had his interview the next day and tweeted that it went well.  I asked him to keep me informed about the results.  A week later, he wrote that he got the job and we exchanged phone numbers so we could keep in touch when he arrived.  In the meantime, we continued to talk via Twitter and phone,  Last Sunday, he called to let me know that he had been on the job teaching 7th grade math for three weeks.  It was different from South Africa in a number of ways, many of which we had already discussed.  He was also impressed with his administration, as they were in the building improving instruction daily.  He was also excited about the collaboration that took place among teachers. Neither of these, he said, was common in his previous school.  Overall, he said he was enjoying the position and looking forward to his family arriving at Christmas.  We will continue to talk as the year progresses.  I look forward to encouraging and learning from him at the same time.

If it were not for Twitter, we never would have connected. I would not have had the opportunity to make a new friend. I also would have been denied a great learning opportunity.  Was it my help that got him the position? Probably not, as he showed he was a strong teacher during our practice interview.  Still, I am thankful that I have the chance to be a part of the journey.  Thanks, Twitter.  

Hidden Talents

One of my favorite Christmas films is Miracle on 34th Street. (In fact, it is one of my favorite films, period). In the movie, there is a scene where a mother brings her recently adopted daughter to see Kris Kringle, who is working as a department store Santa. She tells Kris that the girl speaks only Dutch and that she insists that he is the real Santa.  Then she tells him she has tried to explain to the girl that he is just a man in a Santa suit.  While the new mother is still speaking, Kris takes the little girl in his lap and begins to talk with her in perfect Dutch. They share laughs and a song as the mother stands there amazed.

This scene always brings a tear to my eyes.  In fact, I get emotional just thinking about it.  At the same time, it illustrates a truth that educators need to firmly grasp.  Namely, we don't always know the hidden strengths and talents of those around us.  They may only come out when the right opportunity presents itself.  With school just beginning, we have the chance to help kids (and adults) reveal those hidden talents.  We need to give people a chance to show us what they can do.  So, this year, when a student or teacher says "I can do that," let them try.  See what they are capable of. You might be both amazed and moved by what you learn.

Lessons from Year 2

I was inspired to write this post after reading Traci Logue's (@fearless_teach) blog about lessons from her first year as an Assistant Principal (5 Important Things From My First Year as an AP).  I have just completed my second year as an AP.  It was a great year of growth and not quite the vertical learning curve of Year One.  Below are several of the lessons I've learned in these two years.  Hopefully, these will be helpful to readers, especially those starting the journey known as school leadership.

1.  Listen

I cannot stress enough the importance of listening.   Not just listening so that you can respond, but listening for understanding.  Listening to hear what the other person is saying and empathizing with them, even if you don't agree.  This includes all stakeholders.  Parents, teachers, other administrators, students, paras, community members.  When people know that you are willing to listen, they become open to talking about what is truly important to them. To listen effectively, you may have to tell people that you can't listen at that moment.  Instead, set up a time when you can be totally free to hear what they have to say.  If they really need to be heard, the person will not only honor that request, but be thankful that you were willing to give them the time to speak.

2. Ask questions.

If you don't know something, ask.  If something doesn't make sense, ask.  If you are unclear, ask. Questions help us understand and clarify.  They ensure that everyone is on the same page.  They also keep us out of trouble.  When you have a question about anything, ask it.  It is better to ask early and often than to finish a task only to hear "That's not what I meant."

3. Know your people. Know your people. Know your people.

Every person on your staff is important. They each contribute to the effectiveness of the school.  If they don't, they shouldn't be there.  Get to know each and every person.  Know what their job is, what they are passionate about, what they do well (and what they don't.)  Find out about their families.  Know their interests.  Get to know them as individuals.  This takes time and effort, but the relationships that develop are worth the work.  Remember the saying, "People don't care what you know until they know that you care."  Show you care by developing relationships as you get to know your staff.

4.  Get into the building.

While this may seem like a no-brainer, it is often hard to achieve.  Meetings,  directives from Central Office, parent calls, student issues, and more can all stand in the way of getting into classrooms.  At the end of the day, it is easy to look up and realize that you haven't stepped out of your office all day.  I have found that scheduling time every day for visiting classrooms helps ensure that this occurs.  Then, stick to that schedule. For those interruptions that will occur, leave a script with the office staff that reads something like this: Mr. Quarles is in the building working with students.  Can I take a message and have him call you back when he returns?

5. Love your kids and let them know it.

Kids need to know that someone loves them and cares about them without condition.  Be that person. Greet them at the door every day.  Learn their names and use them.  Find out what they are interested in. Engage them in conversation.  Eat with them (and not just on special occasions). Smile.  When they are in trouble, let them know that, despite their mistake, they will have another chance.  Forget past transgressions.  When appropriate, hug them.  Talk to them outside of school.  In every way possible, let them know that you love them and will not give up on them.  Ever.

 6. Be open to suggestions.

I don't know about you, but I know I don't know it all.  There are many areas I am lacking in.  I need the input of others to be effective.  Early this year, I had a teacher approach me and, with some trepidation, suggest that I change something I was doing.  I thanked her and promptly made the adjustment.  It was then that I realized that it is sometimes difficult for people to make suggestions, especially to those in leadership positions.  For that reason, I need to be especially open to both soliciting ideas and listening to the input of others.  This doesn't mean that I have to follow every proposal, just that I need to be open to listening.  Which leads to the next lesson.....

7.   Never stop learning.

To be a leader, it is imperative that you be a learner.  The two go hand in hand.  Each day, be prepared to learn something new, whether from other people, from reading, from social media, from mistakes, or from a multitude of other sources.  And, be prepared to share that learning. When we regularly share our learning, it will keep the knowledge alive and may inspire others to grow as learners as well.

8.  Confront problems quickly 

If there is one lesson I've had to learn the hard way, it is that problems don't go away by themselves.   Instead, they grow and form a life of their own.  The only way to get rid of a problem is to confront it, bring it to light, and then deal with it.  The longer we wait to do this, the larger the problem tends to become.  While this is rarely easy, it is imperative for the health of the school and the relationships that exist there.

9. Identify your struggling students (and build positive relationships with them).

One of my roles this year was student management.  In a nutshell, I was the disciplinarian.  When a student made a poor choice that could not be dealt with effectively in the classroom, they were sent to me.  It didn't take long to identify the students who I would be seeing quite often.  Following the advice of another leader, I decided to stop waiting for these students to come to me and instead, go to them.  I started meeting with them on a regular basis.  This might mean a short walk every few days, talking with them before school, joining their class for recess, playing a game with them in P.E., or whatever else it took to build a relationship. Many of these kids just needed someone to show that they cared and to help them learn what acceptable behavior looked like.

10.  Ride a bus. In fact, ride many buses.

One afternoon, after dealing with multiple referrals from a particular bus, I called transportation to find out what was going on.  They told me this bus had a sub driver that week and he was having trouble with the kids.  I blurted out in frustration, "Why don't I just ride it home?"  Thus, a trend was born.  For the rest of the year, I made it a habit to ride different buses, especially those that were sending me multiple referrals.  When I told my principal my plans, she said, "You sure are dedicated."  But, I don't think this should be about dedication.  It should, instead, be a part of the administrator's role.  What I learned on those bus rides opened my eyes to much of what I saw occurring at school. For example, many of the kids who were struggling with behavior at school were also riding the same buses together each day.  They were feeding off of each other and then bringing it into the school.  I also got to see the neighborhoods where my students lived.  I went to some areas of town that I didn't know existed.  It also allowed me to see to the amount of time some students were spending on school buses each day.  One 2nd grader got on the bus at 2:45 pm and didn't get dropped off at home until 4:15.  In the morning, this same child boarded the bus at 6:15 am. Could this be contributing to his behavior problems in class?  Riding buses also helped me build relationships with students who always seemed to be amazed that a principal would ride with them.  It also built better communication with the drivers who knew I was willing to take the time to help them do their jobs more effectively.  While riding buses was not in the official "job description," it turned out to be a very important part of the work.  

Putting Down Roots

This past weekend, I had the privilege of driving a group of boys around town on a photo scavenger hunt.  The scavenger hunt was fun, but what really struck me was that at every location we stopped, I knew someone I had met in or through school.  This included a stop at a random house that just happened to be the home of two bus drivers.

As I reflected on the day, I realized that after ten years, I have put down roots in this community. This may not mean much to those who have always lived in one area, but for me, this is a first.  The first time I've lived in the same community as my students.  The first time I've been at one district more than four years.  The first time I've had younger brothers and sisters come through the school.  The first time I've known former students who have graduated and have kids of their own.  The first time I've been to former students college graduations.  So many firsts in the last eleven years.

Why is this important?  For me, there are several advantages to "putting down roots" as an educator.

1)  Relationships - Relationships are paramount.  They can make or break an educator.  But, strong relationships are not formed overnight. They take time and concerted effort to build.  By choosing to put down roots and invest in the community, I've been able to build stronger relationships both in and out of school.  As a teacher and now a principal, these relationships have been so important in allowing me to positively impact the lives of children.

2) Trust - Like relationships, building trust takes time.  It is neither an easy nor simple process and is  built on the foundation of relationships.  Yet, trust is imperative before success can occur. When I first moved here, I could sense that there was a lack of trust in me.  I was the new person in a community where many people had lived their entire lives.  It took time to break down walls of distrust and build trusting relationships.  Now, my job is to do everything I can to maintain that trust with students, parents, and the community.  Fortunately for me, with trust comes a more forgiving attitude as parents realize I do have their child's best interest at heart. I know I need that regularly.

3) Belonging - We all have a need to be a part of something bigger than we are.  We all need to belong.  By choosing to stay in one place, many more doors have opened through avenues such as church, community and civic organizations, as well as the educational community.  Through these connections, I can fulfill the need to serve others while being of part of the bigger picture.  

4) Friendships - As an educator, it is so necessary to have close, trusted friends that we can turn to and share with when we just need to talk.   As an introvert, building strong friendships has always been a struggle.  I have lots of acquaintances, but just a few really close friends.  By settling down, I've been able to nurture those friendships and make them even stronger.  

5)  Professional Relationships - Being in the same community and the same district for ten years has allowed me to build professional relationships that otherwise might not exist.  These relationships are not only with fellow building administrators and teachers, but also with central office staff.  It is so much easier to get your job done when you have strong working relationships with other professionals and support each other. 

For many years, I said I would never settle down in one place.  And, for many years, I didn't.  Now, after eleven years in the same community, I am so glad that I finally chose to ignore my own advice and "put down roots."  It has made a huge difference in my life as an educator.  

A Listening Ear

"Nobody listens to me."  If I had a dollar for the number of times I've heard kids say that as they sat in my office for a discipline referral.  Kids need adults to talk with.  Adults who will listen to them without passing judgement.  Adults who show they care by just being there.  Parents, grandparents, older siblings, and extended family often fulfill that role in the lives of children.  But, for many kids today, there is no adult actively taking time to just listen and interact with them.  They are not given opportunity to tell their own stories.  In many cases, these children show this lack of positive attention by acting out in school.  Negative attention may appear better than no attention at all.

Earlier this year, I had a student who was coming to my office on a regular basis.  Three times a week was not uncommon. I decided to try an experiment. I started meeting with this child for a few minutes a day twice a week.  We just walk through the hall and talk.  There is no agenda outside of spending a few minutes in conversation. Since we started this routine, I have seen him in my office no more than twice and that was several months back.  Obviously, these meetings are not the only thing that has had an impact.  He has also developed some other positive relationships, but it is a piece in the puzzle of his behavior change.

So, now I am finding the need to expand this opportunity.  A number of other children, mainly boys, have started acting out and getting in trouble in class on a regular basis.  As I looked at their records, I see a trend.  Single parent family with Mom as the head.  Little supervision for several hours at home due to parent(s) working late.  Few significant adults, especially men, spending time with them.  In a recent post, I wrote about an encounter with a former student who challenged me to find a way to reach out to boys who were struggling. I've taken this to heart.

Already, I've identified three boys who I plan to start meeting with in a similar manner.  As with the student mentioned above, this will start with spending a few minutes each week just talking and listening.  No getting on to them about behavior..  No bringing up problems unless they start that conversation.  After that relationship is built, then we may get into deeper matters, but for now, the goal is to be a listening ear.

Will this work for each of these as it has with the first child?  Hard to say.  However, it is a start and if it helps them be successful, the effort and the time will have been well spent.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and other ways that have worked to help struggling students be successful. 

Resume: A tool for growth

Recently, I began a task I've been putting off for some time:  updating my resume.  No, I'm not looking for a new job.  I just want to see how far I've come since my last update.  Plus, you never know when it might come in handy, especially if a position opens up in my school district.  At this point, I am making lists of responsibilities, accomplishments, training, certifications, and so on that have changed since I put together my current resume.  Since that time, I've gained almost two years of administration experience, worked in two different schools, been responsible for several special projects, served as a district coordinator, attended multiple trainings, and, through social media (mainly Twitter) and blogging, become a more connected educator.  Now, the task is to put all of this on paper and LinkedIn, of course.

Fortunately, the most difficult part of the process so far has been determining what leave out.  If this were not a problem, I'd be concerned.  If I could dust off my resume and it was ready to go, it would be time to retire.  I would have stopped growing professionally.

For me, new challenges and learning opportunities are the life-blood of my career.  Without them, stagnation sets in.  Each day provides new opportunities to learn and grow.  It is up to me to take advantages of those opportunities.  

Through the process of updating my resume, I am tracking my professional development as well as determining the areas in which I need more experience.  Once I'm done, I will have a better picture of my current status and can make a game plan for growth.  

As a school leader, it is so important that I grow in my profession and model the growth process for others.  If I want the teachers in my building to be learners who are willing to take risks,  I must be the same.  Updating my resume, when approached with the right mindset, is a tool to facilitate this growth.  

Don't ever let them down

It was raining and cold as I approached the store entrance.  "Excuse me, sir," said a voice from the shadows.  As I looked up, I saw a young man in his early 20's approaching.  He was tall with red hair and a scruffy red beard.  While his clothes were disheveled and hands soiled, he had a kind look in his eyes that was vaguely familiar.  "I need something to eat. Can you help me?"  I make it a habit to never give money, but I'll gladly buy food, gas, or other necessities if I'm able.  "What do you need?" I asked.  "Something I can eat that's hot and not in a can.  I'm really hungry," he replied.  I motioned for him to follow me and as we walked towards the deli area, he looked closely at me and said, "I know you, don't I?"  "What's your name?" I inquired.  "John."  My mind raced back several years as I remembered how I knew him.  "I was your teacher, John."  "Mr. Quarles!  7th Grade Science. I really enjoyed being in your class.  You made learning fun." He paused. "I always looked up to you."

As we stood at the deli, I told him to get what he needed and I'd pay for it. John looked over the various foods and began to tell me about his life since junior high.  "I was in trouble quite a bit in school, but things got really bad when my Mom died.  I just went crazy and got strung out.  I didn't want to live anymore.  I'm smart, but I didn't act that way.  I wasted a big part of my life so far." I agreed with him that he was intelligent.  I remembered that about him.  He was always ready to question and participate.  Not a model student, but fun to to have in class. 

Suddenly, he looked right at me and his words took my breath away.  "I wish someone like you would have been there for me.  I needed a man in my life to show me how to live. I wish you could have helped me."  I thought to myself, "John, I didn't know.  I was so busy trying to do my job that I didn't take the time to really get to know you.  I wish now I would have."  

We talked for a while longer about the struggles he had after his mother passed away, how he had battled mental illness, been in trouble with the law, couldn't find a steady job, and was sleeping on friend's couches.  He told me how he was trying hard to make it and that he wasn't going to give up.  

"What can I for you, John?"   His response nearly brought me to tears.  "Mr. Quarles, you can do one thing for me."  "What is that?"I asked.  "Be there for your students. They look up to you, so don't ever let them down.  I don't want anybody to end up the way I did."  "I'll take that to heart, John," I replied.  Shortly after, we went our separate ways. 

Was meeting up with John a divine appointment?  Probably so.  I only know that the encounter was not what I was expecting nor prepared for.  But, I must do what I said and take his words to heart.  As a teacher, I missed a lot of opportunities to positively impact the lives of students. I was so focused on teaching the curriculum that I failed to really get to know my students.  Thankfully, we get second chances.  As an administrator, I have opportunity every day to reach into the lives of struggling kids and help them as they navigate their way through life. We all need someone to guide us.  John reminded me tonight that I can be that person.  Now, I don't want to let him down again.