The "bad" kids?

Recently, during a training on stages of behavior, a teacher commented to the group that the kids she  was about to work with in ISS were "bad."  She went to on to tell how they just didn't care how they acted and there was not much she could do about it. The trainer moved on after this and I didn't get to talk with her as she left quickly.  Maybe that opportunity will arise later.  If I I ever do have that chance, here is what I would say:

"I understand where you are coming from.  At one time, I thought the same thing.  I believed that there were the good kids who rarely got into trouble, the kids who were annoying but not to the point of disruption, and then there were the "bad" kids.  I always hated to see those kids in my class because I thought they just didn't care.  Over time and lots of experience, though, I learned that none of that is true.  The kids who are acting out care just as much as the ones who behave all the time.  Their acting out is simply a cry for help, a way to say "I'm having problems but I don't know how to express this any other way."  These kids need caring adults who are willing to take the time to recognize their cries for help, build relationships with them, and then teach them ways to respond appropriately.    They need people who are willing to see beyond their behavior to the person underneath.  Until that happens, nothing will change.  In the role you are in now, you have many opportunities to be that person."

As an administrator, I spend countless hours just listening to kids who are sent to me because they have been disrupting class.  I see this not as an opportunity for punishment, but as a chance to hear their side of the story and then teach and practice different ways to act in the same situation.  Are there consequences when a student has been behaving inappropriately? Of course, because in life there are always consequences.  I just try to focus on natural consequences whenever possible.

It is funny how time and experience change our perceptions.  For me, it was the difference I saw in  kids after they left junior high and entered high school.  They matured and began to make better choices.  Many of the so called "bad" kids that I had as students earlier in my career are now successful adults. In fact, I have had a number apologize to me for their behavior.  Now that I am on the primary campus, I have many of my former students children.  I see them working hard to be good parents and am thankful that I and my colleagues didn't give up on them so many years ago.

As a primary school administrator, I have the opportunity to help kids develop the skills they need to be successful in the years to come.  I can think of no greater blessing than being able to see these children in junior high and beyond making great choices because they learned how when they were in kindergarten and first grade.

But, I've strayed from my point a bit.  So, to reiterate, every child wants to be successful. None really want to be the "bad" kid.  As educators, we must do everything we can to help all kids learn the skills they need to be productive citizens. When they make bad choices (everybody does), we need to resist the urge to label them and instead take the time to listen and be there to guide them along.  In doing so, we will help them become the best they can be.

Perspective is everything

A few weeks back, we had a fundraiser kickoff where a salesman came and spoke to all of our kindergarten students as a group. The kids came in, sat on the cafeteria floor, and listened and laughed during the presentation.  They oohed and aahed at the prizes being offered and played along with the salesman's antics.  When he asked for quiet, however, several continued talking with their friends and teachers had to intervene. This disturbed me because I know our kids can do better and we had been practicing how to behave when we have guests.  I was shocked when, as the salesman was packing up, he told me this was the best kindergarten group he had worked with in a long time.  When I pressed him for details, he shared that he usually spends most of his time just getting kindergartners quiet, especially after the exciting parts of the program.  Our kids, he told me, were excited at the right times, but got focused when they needed to.  Being that this is my first year with kinder, his perspective helped me see that our students may be doing better than I realize.  (By the way, 1st Grade was marvelous at the next presentation.)

This is not the first time this has happened.  In my first year as an administrator, I was put in charge of the cafeteria where we had to feed close to 800 students in three 30 minute shifts.  We had a system in place, but I never felt that it was the best it could be.  To me, there was too much movement, especially as we were cleaning up, and the room was often too loud for my taste.  One week, we had a substitute custodian who rotated among districts.  About the middle of the week, he approached me to tell me how much he enjoyed working in our cafeteria.  I thought, "Good gracious, why?" In his perspective, this was one of the most organized school cafeterias he had ever been in.  "In most places I work, the kids are constantly getting up, are turned around talking, and they usually leave a mess.  Your kids don't get up until it's time to put up and they clean up after themselves. It makes my job easier."  After that day, I started to view the cafeteria a little differently.

When we are in the middle of a situation, our perspective can become skewed, often towards the negative.  Sometimes, it takes the perspective of an outsider to shed light on the positives that are all around us.  Does this mean that we should stop trying to improve?  Of course not.  It does mean, however, that we need to invite other perspectives and allow ourselves to celebrate the positives while working hard to reduce or eliminate the negatives.

(By the way, this can also work in the opposite direction, when we think things are going great, but others do not have the same perspective.  We need to listen and learn in both cases.)

Observation Day

Recently, I've been doing a lot of formal teacher observations.  Throughout the year I do multiple short walkthroughs (though never enough), so I already know what to expect.  The formal is really putting icing on the cake and an enjoyable learning experience for me.  It always surprises me when these mostly veteran teachers share with me how nervous they are during observations.  Maybe it is because our district does not allow for prior notice, but I think it is just a natural reaction to being observed.

As I reflect on my own classroom experience, I remember that I usually enjoyed being observed.  It wasn't that I relished an audience (though that is partially true), it was more that it gave my students a chance to show off.  As a Science teacher, at least part of each class was lab-based and my observer would rarely just sit.  More often than not, they ended up interacting with students just as I was and became learners themselves.

Still, knowing that someone can enter the room to observe at any time means that you have to be on your A-game every day, every class, every lesson.   Pondering that thought made me realize this important truth:  Teachers are observed every day.  Not by administration, but by children.  Young faces are watching our every move and determining if we are worthy of their time.  They are judging the lessons we deliver and making decisions about whether they will learn what we present.  There are future teachers in our midst who may be developing their own style based on what they see in us. Whether we like it or not, what we as teachers do every day is on display.

So, let's treat every day as observation day.  It will keep us on our A-game and let us do what is best for kids.

The importance of Persistence

I was visiting my mother's house over the holidays when she mentioned that her water heater needed to be drained.  Being the dutiful son that I am, I took the hint and proceeded to the task.  Draining the heater was easy.  Getting it re-lit was not.  For what seemed like an eternity, I attempted to light the pilot with no success.  The operating instructions were followed to a tee and the manufacturer was called, but with no success.  After consulting the internet, I realized I needed to use a mirror to see if the unit was sparking.  It was.  Hope was in the air.  After over an hour, a flame finally appeared.  The directions said to hold the gas down for one minute.  I let go at 55 seconds.  The flame extinguished.  More attempts were made and finally another flame appeared.  It went out as well after I was startled and again released the gas early.  Finally, after another 10 minutes, another flame was created and this time, not willing to suffer defeat again, I held the gas down for a full 90 seconds.  The pilot flame remained on and I was able to start the heater once again.

Throughout this experience, I was tempted multiple times give up and call a serviceman to come and light the heater for me.  Yet, I knew I was following the instructions exactly as written and was determined to get the heater lit.  Thankfully, persistence paid off.  

After this experience, I began to ponder how, as educators, it is so easy to give up when persistence and tenacity can eventually bring positive results.  Working with people, both children and adults, requires that we stick with the task, adjusting as needed, until we see the desired results.  While reflecting, I identified three areas where persistence can eventually provide positive results:   

Student behavior plans:  Behavioral changes take time and effort.  There is rarely a quick fix, especially for deep-seated issues.   In many cases, it will take six weeks or more for a behavior plan to be effective.  In fact, often very little change is seen early on.  It is in these early stages that we are most likely to give up.  Doing so can prove detrimental to lasting results.  A prime example occurred recently when I helped a teacher develop a behavior plan for a child who was acting out every day, often causing a complete shut down of learning in the room.  We developed a behavior chart that she would complete and discuss with the child each day, while at the same time encouraging the student and avoiding any unnecessary triggers.  For the first three weeks, it was a daily struggle and I had to encourage this teacher to just keep plugging away.  After three weeks, we started seeing some positive results.  The number of negative behaviors started slowly dropping and positive behaviors began to increase.  We still kept at it, refusing to lose the positive ground we had gained.  Each successive day brought more positive results.  Finally, after about 9 weeks, you would not have realized that this child was ever on a behavior plan. However, had we stopped at any time during this process, we would not have seen the results we received.  

Lessons: How many times have you had a lesson that you just knew was going to be great and it flopped?  When I was in the classroom, this happened more times than I can remember.  It was so tempting to throw the whole thing out and start from scratch.  However, usually I discovered after reflecting on the lesson, that it just needed a little adjusting and it would work as planned.  As a Science teacher, this happened multiple times with lab experiences.  The first time we would do a new lab, it would be a disaster.  The students would make multiple mistakes on the lab instructions, end up not understanding the concept, and both of us would be frustrated.  I learned over time, however, that the best thing to do in these cases was to just do the lab again the next day.  The first time I tried this I was amazed at how the students not only followed the instructions more accurately, but they also learned the concept at a much deeper level.  

Professional Development: So many times, schools and districts approach professional development as a one-off event and then wonder why they are not seeing the new learning being applied consistently.  To be effective, PD should be a persistent effort involving initial training followed by time for application and reflection.  More training should follow with time again allowed for application and reflection,  This process should be followed until the learning becomes second nature. Without this persistence, the initial training becomes, for the most part, a waste of time.  

In education, as with water heaters, persistence is key. We cannot afford to give up before we see the results that we need, especially when we realize that we are affecting the lives of children, possibly for years to come.  

I would love to hear of other examples of persistence in education.  Feel free to comment. 

On being the only man on campus

This year, I took a position at a Primary campus where I am the only man on the staff.  I'm also the first male administrator the campus has had since the 1990's.  It has been a wonderful as well as eye-opening experience.  Being the only man means that I get called on to take care of situations that the female staff are uncomfortable with.  This means everything from teaching boys how to lift a toilet seat to chasing away stray dogs and talking down angry parents.

For many of the children on our campus, there is no positive male influence in their lives.  They are raised by mothers or grandmothers and a father or father-figure is simply not in the picture.  While I can never replace those men, I hope that my presence and influence will make a difference in their lives.  This was brought to my attention this week while talking with a single mother about some personal issues I was helping her son with.  Her words hit me like a hammer.  "Mr. Quarles, his dad died two years ago and he doesn't have anyone to help him learn how to act like a man." "I try," she said, "but it's not the same. Thank you."  It was after this conversation that I realized this is a calling and I am on this campus for a reason.

Knowing I was to be the only man on campus, I knew I needed some help.  So, my first request was to start WatchD.O.G.S.   At our kickoff, we had over 100 men show up and so far we've had 27 serve at least one day on campus.  Most have been here multiple days.  Their presence makes my job so much easier and it greatly impacts both the teachers and the students.  Children who say they don't like to read will gladly volunteer to read to a WatchDOGS 'dad.' Teachers say their presence and involvement helps kids stay on task. When they are on campus, the number of discipline problems drops.  It just amazes me what the presence of a positive male role model can do for kids.

Throughout this year, I have been thoroughly blessed to work with teachers who are caring, nurturing, and knowledgeable about teaching primary school students.  I am also learning from a principal who has forgotten more about running a primary school than I'll ever know.  Still, at least once a week, someone comes up to me to say how thankful they are to have a man on campus.  It could have been any man.  I am so blessed it is me!

You don't say: Non-verbal classroom management

Some of the most overlooked classroom management strategies are non-verbal actions and cues.  For some reason, many of us seem to believe that if we didn't say it then it wasn't communicated.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  As a teacher, it took me several years to understand the power of non-verbal communication strategies and their effect on student behavior.  As an administrator, I use these strategies daily, especially when working with large groups.  The reason I believe they work is that they are  non-threatening and allow the student to save face because others rarely even notice that a directive has been given.  This cuts down on the escalation that can occur when a student feels they are being verbally reprimanded. 

Some examples of non-verbal management strategies are:

1)  Proximity control - When the teacher moves close to a student who is off-task or acting out.  The close proximity of teacher to student is often all it takes for behavior to change.  In addition, the teacher might touch the desk or the paper to indicate the need to get back to work. Proximity control tends to work better when the teacher is regularly moving throughout the room.  If the students don't know where the teacher will be next, they are less likely to act out.  

2)  Visual cues - There are a number of cues that teachers can use to redirect student behavior.  Some are universal such as a finger over the lips for silence or nodding/shaking the head for yes and no.  Others are specific to the teacher or classroom.  For example, I point to my shirt and make a tucking motion when directing a student to put their shirt in or make a twirling motion with my finger to indicate the need to turn around.  These cues can also be used to reinforce positive behavior such as a thumbs up or a fist bump.  Students can also be taught to use visual cues.  For example, raising a pencil can indicate the need to go to the sharpener.  At lunch, my students have been trained to point to the restroom door or the water fountain to ask permission to go these locations.  

3)  The "Look"  - The "look" is a technique that I don't believe is used often enough.  Basically, the teacher looks directly at the acting out/off-task child with a silent stare that is neither happy not angry, but ambivalent.  Many mothers, especially those from the "old school," have this down pat. When a teacher has perfected the look, they can move a child to proper behavior from across the room.  However, for the look to work effectively, the student needs to understand that, if the behavior doesn't change, there will be a consequence coming shortly.  

Non-verbal classroom management techniques are simple to implement and can be extremely powerful when used effectively.  I would encourage all educators to add these and other non-verbal strategies to their classroom management tool bag.  

What are some non-verbal techniques that have been effective in your classroom?  Please share your ideas in the comments.  

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Happy socks (or Why so serious?)

This Christmas, my wife gave me three pairs of Happy Socks.  If you are not familiar with Happy Socks (I wasn't), they are dress socks with a unique and creative twist. Below are some examples.

At first, I was hesitant to wear them, but after a few days warmed to the idea.  I mean, who would see them anyway?  They're socks. 

The first day I wore them, I had on a neatly pressed pair of slacks, laundered shirt, tie, and newly shined shoes. Typical professional dress for a school administrator.  Then, as I sat in a meeting, I crossed my legs and saw my Happy Socks. As I thought about how silly they looked, it hit me.  

I tend to take myself way too seriously.  And, when I do that, it saps my joy. 

Please understand.  I take my position as a school administrator very seriously.  My decisions and actions affect students, teachers, staff, parents, and the community along with the overall school culture.   I don't take that lightly.  

But, I can take myself lightly.  I can laugh at myself and laugh with others.  I can make mistakes and not be so hard on myself when I do.  I can look foolish if it will help a child learn.  I can be positive and upbeat no matter what situation I face.  I can make others feel more important than myself.  I don't have to take myself so seriously.

Now, I try to wear my Happy Socks as often as I can.  They serve as a reminder that, although I need to take what I do very seriously, I don't always need to take myself that way.

My best thinking

Years ago, I had a principal whose favorite saying was, "Other people do my best thinking for me."  Today, I put that mantra to the test. When faced with some important decisions,  I spent time trying to come up with my own solutions. I quickly realized that others in the building had better insights than I did.  So, I asked for their help.  They were happy to assist and because they've worked there longer, their ideas were often practical and easy to implement.  While what I was considering would have done the job, these fresh ideas were right on target and caused things to go much smoother than they would have otherwise.  In some cases, it actually placed more work on the other person, but they were willing to accept that as it was part of their solution. 

As a leader,  I have to remember that I don't know it all.  I am surrounded by a team of people who see things in ways I don't.  We depend on each other for help and support.  What happens when their ideas work well?  I give them credit.  What if their idea flops?  I take full credit.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  

Ultimately, I am responsible for the final result of my decisions.  I accept that. But, I don't have to be responsible for coming up with all the solutions.  If I'm going to be effective, I have to be willing to seek out and listen to others and, in some cases, let them do my best thinking for me.  

The Office Teacher

On  Halloween, a number of the students from my campus came trick-or-treating at my house.  They would get excited when they saw me and tell their friends I was their assistant principal.  One student, however, introduced me in a way I had never heard before. To him, I was the "Office Teacher." Over the last few days, I have been reflecting on this newly imposed title.

While classified as an administrator, I still spend a good portion of my time "teaching." As chief discipline officer, I use the time students are in my office to teach them alternative means for dealing with frustration, anger, and conflict.  When I visit classrooms, I often find myself sitting next to a struggling student and assisting them while the teacher works with others.  With adults, I try to model the behaviors I expect from them as they work with students. As an instructional leader, I work directly with teachers to discover more effective ways to engage students.

When I was still in the classroom, one of my goals was to continually learn from others.  I find that trait has followed me into the office.  While doing teacher observations, one of my goals is to learn what people are doing well and then share that with others who may be struggling in that area.  This has the double effect of allowing me to be both learner and teacher.

While I don't think the title "Office Teacher" will ever really catch on, I do believe it is appropriate for effective school administrators.  Teaching is ingrained in us and while you can take us out of the classroom, we are still teachers at heart. Office teachers. I like that!