Okay, I finally did it. I've joined the #OneWord bandwagon. One word to define the change you want to see in yourself. My One Word for 2017 is HERE. This came to me as I was sitting at the table with my in-laws with one hand on my phone, checking e-mails, while trying to listen to them. It dawned on me that, while my body was in the room, I wasn't HERE.
Over the last year, my wife and son have both pointed out that I seem distant, as though I am focused on something else. Truth is, I am. I'm focused on work, students, what I need to accomplish tomorrow, that conversation I had today. Everything but what is right here in front of me. This is not helped by all of the media that is available. Cell phones, tablets, TV, Apple Watches. Useful devices, yes, but not good at helping one focus. In many cases, I miss out on what is happening right in front of me because I am so focused on what I need to be doing somewhere else.
So, my one word is HERE. What that means to me is that I will focus on what is happening in the moment I am in right now. I will focus on the HERE and now. I can focus on what needs to happen later when the time comes. Honestly, there is nothing I can do about those other things anyway, so why expend energy on them. Put up the electronics and be in the moment. Close e-mails and news and see the person in front of me. Clear my mind of those things out of my control at that moment and enjoy what is going on now.
My goal is to live life HERE, focusing on the present and what I can do right now, letting other things come in the proper time. Isn't that how life is supposed to be lived?
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Curious George and the power of adult action
I've never read a Curious George book. This thought struck me recently. My son and I went to see the movie and watched the TV show on PBS, but I never read the books. They just weren't for me, I would say. After reflecting, I realized the probable reason.
Let's take a trip back to 1971. An excited 1st grader walks with his class into his first book fair with money burning a hole in his pocket. The book fair was held in the music room because the library wasn't big enough. As this little boy enters, his eyes move around the room, filled with stacks of books larger than he's ever seen. There are books everywhere. As an beginning reader, it is like a candy store of words, waiting to be tasted. Glancing to the right, he sees a table with several books that he recognizes from his aunt's house. Curious George. He has heard his aunt talk about the silly monkey during his visits. The little boy quickly makes a bee line to the table. As he is quietly thumbing through the first one, marveling at the pictures of the man in yellow and the little monkey, a gruff adult voice comes from behind. "Those aren't for you," the woman said. "You need to get a book from over here." The little boy dutifully walks to where he is directed and with no enthusiasm, picks out a book from "his" table. He doesn't remember the name of the book he got that day, but he does remember that Curious George wasn't "for him." At least that was the excuse he used when given the opportunity to read the H.A. and Margret Rey classics.
I can still remember that scene clearly. The woman who directed me to the other table and told me those books weren't for me was probably just a volunteer doing what she was told. But for the next 45 years, I did not read a Curious George book.
Adults have great power in the lives of children. As an educator, I am often reminded of the need to build them up and encourage them, not take the wind out of their sails. They come to school each day, eager to learn and grow. They want to be challenged and to make choices on their own, As the adults in their lives, we are charged with guiding them and helping them to grow in a loving, nurturing environment where they can safely take chances. In order to do this, we have to carefully monitor our own words and actions, always aware of the potential long term consequences.
Did this Curious George incidence turn me into a non-reader? No. I usually read 20+ books a year. Did it have dire effects on my psyche? I hope not. But it was powerful enough for me to remember the details years later and to miss the chance to enjoy some of the world's most famous children's literature.
Now, I'm heading to the library because it's never too late to start.
Let's take a trip back to 1971. An excited 1st grader walks with his class into his first book fair with money burning a hole in his pocket. The book fair was held in the music room because the library wasn't big enough. As this little boy enters, his eyes move around the room, filled with stacks of books larger than he's ever seen. There are books everywhere. As an beginning reader, it is like a candy store of words, waiting to be tasted. Glancing to the right, he sees a table with several books that he recognizes from his aunt's house. Curious George. He has heard his aunt talk about the silly monkey during his visits. The little boy quickly makes a bee line to the table. As he is quietly thumbing through the first one, marveling at the pictures of the man in yellow and the little monkey, a gruff adult voice comes from behind. "Those aren't for you," the woman said. "You need to get a book from over here." The little boy dutifully walks to where he is directed and with no enthusiasm, picks out a book from "his" table. He doesn't remember the name of the book he got that day, but he does remember that Curious George wasn't "for him." At least that was the excuse he used when given the opportunity to read the H.A. and Margret Rey classics.
I can still remember that scene clearly. The woman who directed me to the other table and told me those books weren't for me was probably just a volunteer doing what she was told. But for the next 45 years, I did not read a Curious George book.
Adults have great power in the lives of children. As an educator, I am often reminded of the need to build them up and encourage them, not take the wind out of their sails. They come to school each day, eager to learn and grow. They want to be challenged and to make choices on their own, As the adults in their lives, we are charged with guiding them and helping them to grow in a loving, nurturing environment where they can safely take chances. In order to do this, we have to carefully monitor our own words and actions, always aware of the potential long term consequences.
Did this Curious George incidence turn me into a non-reader? No. I usually read 20+ books a year. Did it have dire effects on my psyche? I hope not. But it was powerful enough for me to remember the details years later and to miss the chance to enjoy some of the world's most famous children's literature.
Now, I'm heading to the library because it's never too late to start.
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
The "bad" kids?
Recently, during a training on stages of behavior, a teacher commented to the group that the kids she was about to work with in ISS were "bad." She went to on to tell how they just didn't care how they acted and there was not much she could do about it. The trainer moved on after this and I didn't get to talk with her as she left quickly. Maybe that opportunity will arise later. If I I ever do have that chance, here is what I would say:
"I understand where you are coming from. At one time, I thought the same thing. I believed that there were the good kids who rarely got into trouble, the kids who were annoying but not to the point of disruption, and then there were the "bad" kids. I always hated to see those kids in my class because I thought they just didn't care. Over time and lots of experience, though, I learned that none of that is true. The kids who are acting out care just as much as the ones who behave all the time. Their acting out is simply a cry for help, a way to say "I'm having problems but I don't know how to express this any other way." These kids need caring adults who are willing to take the time to recognize their cries for help, build relationships with them, and then teach them ways to respond appropriately. They need people who are willing to see beyond their behavior to the person underneath. Until that happens, nothing will change. In the role you are in now, you have many opportunities to be that person."
As an administrator, I spend countless hours just listening to kids who are sent to me because they have been disrupting class. I see this not as an opportunity for punishment, but as a chance to hear their side of the story and then teach and practice different ways to act in the same situation. Are there consequences when a student has been behaving inappropriately? Of course, because in life there are always consequences. I just try to focus on natural consequences whenever possible.
It is funny how time and experience change our perceptions. For me, it was the difference I saw in kids after they left junior high and entered high school. They matured and began to make better choices. Many of the so called "bad" kids that I had as students earlier in my career are now successful adults. In fact, I have had a number apologize to me for their behavior. Now that I am on the primary campus, I have many of my former students children. I see them working hard to be good parents and am thankful that I and my colleagues didn't give up on them so many years ago.
As a primary school administrator, I have the opportunity to help kids develop the skills they need to be successful in the years to come. I can think of no greater blessing than being able to see these children in junior high and beyond making great choices because they learned how when they were in kindergarten and first grade.
But, I've strayed from my point a bit. So, to reiterate, every child wants to be successful. None really want to be the "bad" kid. As educators, we must do everything we can to help all kids learn the skills they need to be productive citizens. When they make bad choices (everybody does), we need to resist the urge to label them and instead take the time to listen and be there to guide them along. In doing so, we will help them become the best they can be.
"I understand where you are coming from. At one time, I thought the same thing. I believed that there were the good kids who rarely got into trouble, the kids who were annoying but not to the point of disruption, and then there were the "bad" kids. I always hated to see those kids in my class because I thought they just didn't care. Over time and lots of experience, though, I learned that none of that is true. The kids who are acting out care just as much as the ones who behave all the time. Their acting out is simply a cry for help, a way to say "I'm having problems but I don't know how to express this any other way." These kids need caring adults who are willing to take the time to recognize their cries for help, build relationships with them, and then teach them ways to respond appropriately. They need people who are willing to see beyond their behavior to the person underneath. Until that happens, nothing will change. In the role you are in now, you have many opportunities to be that person."
As an administrator, I spend countless hours just listening to kids who are sent to me because they have been disrupting class. I see this not as an opportunity for punishment, but as a chance to hear their side of the story and then teach and practice different ways to act in the same situation. Are there consequences when a student has been behaving inappropriately? Of course, because in life there are always consequences. I just try to focus on natural consequences whenever possible.
It is funny how time and experience change our perceptions. For me, it was the difference I saw in kids after they left junior high and entered high school. They matured and began to make better choices. Many of the so called "bad" kids that I had as students earlier in my career are now successful adults. In fact, I have had a number apologize to me for their behavior. Now that I am on the primary campus, I have many of my former students children. I see them working hard to be good parents and am thankful that I and my colleagues didn't give up on them so many years ago.
As a primary school administrator, I have the opportunity to help kids develop the skills they need to be successful in the years to come. I can think of no greater blessing than being able to see these children in junior high and beyond making great choices because they learned how when they were in kindergarten and first grade.
But, I've strayed from my point a bit. So, to reiterate, every child wants to be successful. None really want to be the "bad" kid. As educators, we must do everything we can to help all kids learn the skills they need to be productive citizens. When they make bad choices (everybody does), we need to resist the urge to label them and instead take the time to listen and be there to guide them along. In doing so, we will help them become the best they can be.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Magic Words
The Bible, in Proverbs 18:21, says "Life and death are in the power of the tongue." As educators, we need to take this to heart and choose our words carefully, as they can either exacerbate or diffuse a situation. Through the years, I've learned several words and phrases that seem to work like magic in dealing with others. There is nothing special about any of these, but when spoken with sincerity can change a situation for the better. Below are several these "magic words." Try them and see what happens.
1) "Now..." - Have you ever watched a child's face when you say something like, "You did steps 1 to 3 exactly right, BUT you didn't do step 4." It almost seems to suck the life out of them. It is though you are saying, "You did good, just not good enough." Imagine replacing that "but" or "however" with "Now." "You did steps 1 to 4 exactly right, NOW start on step 4." For whatever reason, that one word "Now" seems to turn a negative into a positive. When I first learned this, I decided to test it. On the tough kids. In detention, no less. Every day, I assigned a reflective writing prompt. The kids would write a sentence and then balk. One day, I told a boy, after he written a single sentence, "That is a great start, now write about what you do next." To my amazement, he did. He wrote two more sentences. I repeated this several times until he had a page written. Then, after looking at the page, I said, "Now, read it again and underline any corrections you need to make or anything that doesn't really make sense." He did. This continued until he had written a very strong reflection.
2) "I'm sorry that happened." - These four words have changed the way I address people when they bring problems my way. Anytime someone comes to me with a problem situation, my first words are "I'm sorry that happened." And I am. It may be that I empathize with the person. It could also be because this problem brought an irate person into my otherwise peaceful day. Either way, these four words, said with conviction, will reduce tension and help bring the person to your side.
3) "How can I help?" - When people know that you are really listening to their concerns and are willing to invest in them, they are much more willing to work with you. I use these magic words when people bring a real concern to me, as compared to a string of complaints.
4) What do you think? - Asking for people's opinion or advice let's them know you think they are important. It may also lead to a better solution to a problem.
5) "We..." - There is strength in working together with others. When you use the word "I," the focus is on you. When you use the word "we," the focus is on all of us.
6) "Your child... " - Many educators use the term, "your student" when talking to parents about their kids. For whatever reason, that sounds impersonal. "Your child," however, brings it closer to home. It also lets parents know that you see their child as more than just a name on a roll sheet and seems to open a door to more effective communication.
7) "Can/will you help me?" - I don't know about you, but when someone seeks out my help, I am flattered. It is a self-esteem builder and a great ego booster. It also shows that you can't do everything and need others to be successful.
One word of caution: While the words and phrases above are useful in working with others, they must be used with a tone of caring. If not, they will come across as insincere and often hurtful.
What "magic words" do you use? Please feel free to add them in the comments.
1) "Now..." - Have you ever watched a child's face when you say something like, "You did steps 1 to 3 exactly right, BUT you didn't do step 4." It almost seems to suck the life out of them. It is though you are saying, "You did good, just not good enough." Imagine replacing that "but" or "however" with "Now." "You did steps 1 to 4 exactly right, NOW start on step 4." For whatever reason, that one word "Now" seems to turn a negative into a positive. When I first learned this, I decided to test it. On the tough kids. In detention, no less. Every day, I assigned a reflective writing prompt. The kids would write a sentence and then balk. One day, I told a boy, after he written a single sentence, "That is a great start, now write about what you do next." To my amazement, he did. He wrote two more sentences. I repeated this several times until he had a page written. Then, after looking at the page, I said, "Now, read it again and underline any corrections you need to make or anything that doesn't really make sense." He did. This continued until he had written a very strong reflection.
2) "I'm sorry that happened." - These four words have changed the way I address people when they bring problems my way. Anytime someone comes to me with a problem situation, my first words are "I'm sorry that happened." And I am. It may be that I empathize with the person. It could also be because this problem brought an irate person into my otherwise peaceful day. Either way, these four words, said with conviction, will reduce tension and help bring the person to your side.
3) "How can I help?" - When people know that you are really listening to their concerns and are willing to invest in them, they are much more willing to work with you. I use these magic words when people bring a real concern to me, as compared to a string of complaints.
4) What do you think? - Asking for people's opinion or advice let's them know you think they are important. It may also lead to a better solution to a problem.
5) "We..." - There is strength in working together with others. When you use the word "I," the focus is on you. When you use the word "we," the focus is on all of us.
6) "Your child... " - Many educators use the term, "your student" when talking to parents about their kids. For whatever reason, that sounds impersonal. "Your child," however, brings it closer to home. It also lets parents know that you see their child as more than just a name on a roll sheet and seems to open a door to more effective communication.
7) "Can/will you help me?" - I don't know about you, but when someone seeks out my help, I am flattered. It is a self-esteem builder and a great ego booster. It also shows that you can't do everything and need others to be successful.
One word of caution: While the words and phrases above are useful in working with others, they must be used with a tone of caring. If not, they will come across as insincere and often hurtful.
What "magic words" do you use? Please feel free to add them in the comments.
Friday, September 16, 2016
On Being a Champion
The following is a guest post from Jason Marshall, Superintendent of Palestine ISD. It was originally sent as a message to the district.
Mrs. Marshall sent me the following video about students the other day. As I watched it, I was so moved by the speaker that I began researching how to get her to come share her stories with us. Unfortunately, she passed away several years ago. Her passing reminds me of the tremendous knowledge and experience that educators who retire take with them. Thankfully, we have her TED talk to refer back to her thoughts:
Many of you are familiar with the poem, Footprints in the Sand. Several authors have received credit for this poem, and I am including the version by Mary Stevenson below. Whether you internalize this poem from a religious perspective or just simply realize that other people help us without us even knowing about it, I think there is a parallel to Footprints and Rita Pierson's speech. As I listened to Rita Pierson's speech, I couldn't help but think back to the Footprints poem. My mother had a framed poster of it in her bathroom, and it served as both a humbling reminder and as an inspiration to my family for many, many years.
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Mary Stevenson, 1936
The bottom line to me is that we are probably all treated (in some way) better than we should be treated. Someone probably helps us when we don't even realize it - I know people help me all of the time. And, KIDS NEED CHAMPIONS/HEROS around them ALL OF THE TIME. No, they may not deserve it every day, but that doesn't mean that they still don't need it. Thanks to each of you for making a difference. Continue being some kid's CHAMPION!!!
Monday, August 29, 2016
Hidden talents
The text came in about 2:30 in the afternoon while I was getting ready for car duty. "Mrs. ______ called and needs someone to come mow their lawn. Since you are on call this week, can you do it?" "Sure," I said. It was only the second time I had ever received a request while on call as a deacon, and although I didn't recognize the name, was thankful for the opportunity to serve. When I got home, I loaded my mower and weed whacker in the truck and, using Google Maps, easily found the house. The husband met me at the door. I knew who he was as we had talked at church, but I had not spent a lot of time getting to know him. He told me that the lawn was getting too hard for him to mow and his grandson, who usually does it, was off at college. His wife invited me in. We talked briefly before I set out to tackle the task at hand. Due to recent rains and wet ground, it took me about an hour to finish the small yard.
When I was done, I knocked on the door to let them know. Again, they invited me in and asked me to sit at the table and talk a while. After accepting their offer of a Coke, we chatted about their grandchildren and great grandchildren (almost 30 of them combined) and when they discovered I was an educator, we discussed school and the wonders of children. After a few minutes, the husband said, "I'd like to ask you a question?" "OK." "Can we sing for you?" It took me a second to process what he had said. "I'd be honored," I finally replied, not knowing what to expect. The husband left the room and returned with a guitar. After tuning it, they began to sing in perfect harmony, looking into each other's eyes the entire time. They serenaded me with "Wine into Water" and "Seven Spanish Angels." My eyes almost filled with tears as I watched this couple, both in their 80's, give a gift with me that money could not buy. They shared their talents.
Afterwards, I asked the wife if she had been singing all her life. "No," she said. "People used to tell me I couldn't sing and I believed them." They were wrong and I'm thankful she finally figured that out.
As I was driving home, I thought about the kids that I work with every day. How many have talents and abilities that I know nothing about? Do they feel safe enough with me to share those hidden talents when the opportunity arises? When they do, will I respond in a way that builds them up and causes them to want to share with others?
I was blessed that afternoon with a new perspective on people. Now, as I see kids and teachers in the hallway, I often wonder, "what is their hidden talent?" Hopefully, I will get to find out one day.
When I was done, I knocked on the door to let them know. Again, they invited me in and asked me to sit at the table and talk a while. After accepting their offer of a Coke, we chatted about their grandchildren and great grandchildren (almost 30 of them combined) and when they discovered I was an educator, we discussed school and the wonders of children. After a few minutes, the husband said, "I'd like to ask you a question?" "OK." "Can we sing for you?" It took me a second to process what he had said. "I'd be honored," I finally replied, not knowing what to expect. The husband left the room and returned with a guitar. After tuning it, they began to sing in perfect harmony, looking into each other's eyes the entire time. They serenaded me with "Wine into Water" and "Seven Spanish Angels." My eyes almost filled with tears as I watched this couple, both in their 80's, give a gift with me that money could not buy. They shared their talents.
Afterwards, I asked the wife if she had been singing all her life. "No," she said. "People used to tell me I couldn't sing and I believed them." They were wrong and I'm thankful she finally figured that out.
As I was driving home, I thought about the kids that I work with every day. How many have talents and abilities that I know nothing about? Do they feel safe enough with me to share those hidden talents when the opportunity arises? When they do, will I respond in a way that builds them up and causes them to want to share with others?
I was blessed that afternoon with a new perspective on people. Now, as I see kids and teachers in the hallway, I often wonder, "what is their hidden talent?" Hopefully, I will get to find out one day.
x
Monday, July 11, 2016
EdCamp Leadership
Today, July 11, 2016, was EdCamp Leadership day. Leadership EdCamps were held simultaneously around the country. I was able to attend EdCampLeaderTX at Bellaire High School in Houston. For those unfamiliar with EdCamps, they are educator driven professional development focused on meeting the specific needs of the attendees. In fact, the agenda is not developed until participants arrive and provide suggestions for sessions based on their specific interests. There are no speakers or vendors, although educational companies do support the events by providing door prizes. Learning for the day is organic and conversations in each session are driven by the participants with the help of a facilitator. Anyone can suggest ideas for sessions and anyone can facilitate a session.
Edcamps are, from my own experience, one of the most beneficial forms of professional development for three reasons. First, only people who are truly interested in learning and growing take the time to attend. Second, anyone can share in a session, providing multiple viewpoints and ideas. Finally, you are not required to stay in a session if it doesn't meet your needs. You are welcome to follow the "law of two feet" and move to another session. Throughout the sessions, participants are constantly tweeting their learning. If you are interested in viewing these, follow the hashtags #EdCampLdrTX and #EdCampLDR on Twitter. You can also see session notes by visiting edcampleadershiptx.com.
In order to attend today's EdCamp, it took a six hour drive (roundtrip) including leaving the house before 5 am to beat Houston traffic. Yet, the long drive was a trifle compared to the learning and connecting that occurred during the course of the day. And, I wasn't even the person that came the farthest. We had a person from Ohio take a day out of vacation to join us. This says a lot for the power of EdCamps. But, more specifically, it says a lot for the power of educators when they take control of their own learning and don't wait for others to initiate PD for them.
If you have never attended an EdCamp I highly recommend going to one. It will change your perception of educator professional development. Follow this link for a list of upcoming EdCamps. You can also visit the Edcamp Home page for more information.
Edcamps are, from my own experience, one of the most beneficial forms of professional development for three reasons. First, only people who are truly interested in learning and growing take the time to attend. Second, anyone can share in a session, providing multiple viewpoints and ideas. Finally, you are not required to stay in a session if it doesn't meet your needs. You are welcome to follow the "law of two feet" and move to another session. Throughout the sessions, participants are constantly tweeting their learning. If you are interested in viewing these, follow the hashtags #EdCampLdrTX and #EdCampLDR on Twitter. You can also see session notes by visiting edcampleadershiptx.com.
During today's EdCamp, I attended three sessions. The first was on choice in teacher professional development. Principals and teachers discussed how to help educators take control of their own learning while still meeting district mandates. The second was iPad apps for the classroom. In this session, we shared apps that had worked for us. One of the focuses of this session was how to use sites and apps that were not designed with education in mind to help meet the learning needs of students. And, the last was on connecting classrooms globally which included some time sharing with an EdCamp group in another state.
The final session of the camp was an App Smash where participants shared some of their learning and, of course, door prizes. I actually won an Ipevo document camera. But, more importantly, I left energized and ready to get to back to work helping teachers and students.
In order to attend today's EdCamp, it took a six hour drive (roundtrip) including leaving the house before 5 am to beat Houston traffic. Yet, the long drive was a trifle compared to the learning and connecting that occurred during the course of the day. And, I wasn't even the person that came the farthest. We had a person from Ohio take a day out of vacation to join us. This says a lot for the power of EdCamps. But, more specifically, it says a lot for the power of educators when they take control of their own learning and don't wait for others to initiate PD for them.
If you have never attended an EdCamp I highly recommend going to one. It will change your perception of educator professional development. Follow this link for a list of upcoming EdCamps. You can also visit the Edcamp Home page for more information.
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