The Great Connector

This subject of this post has nothing to do with being an educator.  At the same time, it has everything to do with it.  This post is about food.  Namely, the connecting power of food.  Since 1998, I've either visited or lived in 10 countries outside of the United States.  In most of these, I had the chance to spend time with local families, often in their homes.  I also observed lots of westerners, particularly Americans, during these visits.  Most of these travelers stayed at 5 star hotels and ate at the best restaurants.  In contrast, my wife and I stayed in homes or cheap hotel rooms near the city centre and usually ate with families or in the local eating spots, particularly night markets.

It makes a difference. If you are just in a place to sightsee, eat wherever you like. If you want to connect with people, eat with them and, even more importantly, eat what they eat.  I can't count the relationships that I have made with people simply because I was willing to sit in their home and eat what they had cooked.  It was always amusing to see people grin and comment about how you really liked their food. It was honoring to them, just as it is honoring to have a guests eat at my own home.  It brings joy to both the giver and receiver.

For many people, eating unknown food is scary.  I've seen people who were literally afraid to eat what others had carefully prepared.  One fellow who traveled with us for a time loaded his suitcase with beef jerky so he didn't have to eat local food.  On a home visit in Southeast Asia, the grandmother took pity on him and hand prepared him chicken strips so he wouldn't go hungry.  Another man refused to eat at the night market and instead made his way down the street to Pizza Hut each evening.  Both missed opportunities to build relationships with people in the most natural way possible, over a meal.
In my travels, I've eaten foods that were amazing and others that did not agree with me.  It didn't matter because it wasn't about the food, it was about the people.  The food was just a connector.  This was brought back to mind this week when an Indian student's mother found out I had lived in parts of Asia.  She made me a plate of flat bread and green curry sauce that was to die for.  That simple gesture was a reflection of the relationship I am building with her family.

I could write all night about food, what does it have to do with education?  Lots.  As educators, we have to be willing to step into our student's and families world in order to build relationships with them.  Maybe that won't be through food, but instead finding out what they enjoy and then doing it with them.  It may mean finding out which kids are on the little league team and then going and sitting in the stands watching them.  It may mean finding out their favorite game and playing with them.  When parents visit the school, we can find out their interests and spend time talking with them about it. When we are out shopping or in the community, take the time to visit with parents and their kids.  If you are invited to their home, accept the invitation.  Whatever we do, we must find a way to connect that is honoring to the other person and use that to build a relationship.  The means is not what is important.  The relationship is.  In my case, I just hope it involves food.